Life in Fiberspace: Chapter 1 – Zombie Wars
We’re all aware of the toll in lives, the anxiety, the fear the walking dead can evoke. I’m not just talking about zombies, though we’ll get to those later. There is more than one way to be dead.
How about uncle Jack who flails his beer around as he describes his last round of golf. He has no awareness of the spotted question mark he just left on your carpet. Or those annoying people who carry dogs in their handbags and let them run loose on your carpet doing who knows what in hidden places your olfactory discovers later on a hot day — blind to your tense expression and exploring eyes.
Are these not all signs of being dead? And wait, there’s more!
Or how about your best friend from college who brings her three young kids over every time she visits your pristine bachelorette apartment. Would a living person not notice your horror and you trying to see in three different directions at the same time?
It’s bad enough to have to clean up the mess a drunk friend made at a party; but the real rub is their not apologizing or even acknowledging what they put you through because they have no memory of the event. And, of course, you’re too polite to mention it to them. Dead! Dead!! Dead!!!
You can always superglue uncle Jack’s hands to his forehead, adopt a large alley cat who hates dogs, rescue a Rottweiler from a shelter for dogs abused by kids, or scrape up your friend’s mess and put it in his pocket. But none of these solutions will prevent this and other situations like this from occurring in the future.
I recommend adopting a zombie. They don’t need to be fed or put to bed. They don’t talk or do things that may disturb you. They just sit there catatonically until you rouse them to do your bidding. The cool thing about all this is once the word gets out you own a zombie people will start to wake up around you and notice when you are unhappy about something. So, though there will be the occasional cleanup of blood and guts from those that are truly oblivious, you’ll need to have your carpets cleaned a lot less often overall. And besides, you will probably find yourself applauded by a host of mutual friends.
I’m in the carpet cleaning business and I’ve been told by my financial advisers that it’s foolish to show potential customers how to save money on carpet cleaning. But I would be socially remiss if I didn’t share what I know from years of experience in this business. I am always available for more advice if you need it. Just email us and I will respond. Always glad to help!
Why Choose Quality Carpet Cleaning?
Our organizational structure allows us to deliver the same or better quality of service as any of the major companies out there for a much lower cost. We invite you to compare.
There’s no secret to doing what we do. There are industry and manufacturers’ standards. There is certified training. There are apprenticeships. The best equipment and cleaning solutions are available to anyone. If you strip away all their attempts to distinguish themselves, you will find that all the top companies essentially clean how Quality Carpet Cleaning does because it’s what works best. A rose by any other name is still a rose.
Quality Carpet Cleaning has thousands of independent reviews on sites like Yelp, Angie’s List, Google, the BBB and various other review sites. These are not reviews we collect on our site where we can filter and control them. Thus, though we are rated highly everywhere, not all of our reviews are great. However, you will see that when a problem does pop up, we go out of our way to make things right with the customer.
If you are unhappy for any reason, we will gladly come out and re-clean any area you are not happy with.
We at Quality Carpet Cleaning appreciate how important your time is and give it the highest priority. We schedule ideally 3, but no more than 4, jobs per day for each technician where other companies schedule up to 6. In this way our technicians have plenty of time between jobs and don’t have to rush through a job to get to the next.
All our products are safe for kids & pets. What most people don’t know is that California regulations are so strict that many cleaning products sold in other states are not allowed to be sold here. Some standards even go beyond “green”. That said, we also carry a line of green carpet cleaning products for hyper-sensitive people.